News has leaked that as a consequence of plans to block tax haven abuse a consortium of international firms is, quite literally, launching an alternative. It's the space haven.
The consortium is planning to set up a tax haven on a satellite orbiting the earth. As they are reported to have said:
This creates opportunities for tax planning that are out of this world.
And, they stress, it's wholly legal as well, and they think entirely beyond challenge.
Apparently the standard tax haven structure of a trust owning a company which in turn will operate a bank account that will settle the debit card bills run up by the settlor of the whole arrangement will all be available from the satellite facility — and not a single human will have to play a single part in supplying the service.
All the facilities that one would usually expect of a tax haven administrator will be undertaken automatically by the computers on board the satellite.
These computers will always act in accordance with the instructions given to them by the trust settlor who will, as is now common place on earth, have full reservation of powers with regard to the whole structure.
This will have the added advantage that human interference by a real trustee is quite unnecessary since they will have no real role in the arrangement other than loan of their name. Because that is now recognised the space satellite will use incorporated nominees, all of whom will have signed complete non-disclosure agreements requiring that they never make enquiry as to the identity of the entities for whom they act. It's considered invincible if ever subject to attack by a tax authority.
To add to the appeal of the arrangement it is thought that a complete bank will also be hosted on the satellite with all transactions being run, again, by the settlor.
The only question apparently left to resolve is whether companies and trusts set up in space will be able to transact here on earth. But it's not likely to be an issue of much concern to all involved, at least so long as the debit card bills continue to be paid and a margin is earned all round. If that's done then it's reported that stellar profits are expected.
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This has to be an April Fool – or does it?
Ho, ho. Great yarn for the 1st of April. But we we shouldn’t assume that various devious brains have not contemplated turning it in to a reality – or are still contemplating doing so.
http://www.space.com/29095-space-taxes-mars-colonists.html
I’ve heard a rumour that under “building our future 4” HMRC may even consider relocating its offices to these satellites to save on expensive accommodation costs in UK town centres.
I can confirm that the satellite does exist and this story is completely true. Jack sparrow and I saw it while traveling to the moon on a flying pig after raiding all the ill gotten tax free money from Bermuda. Infact we bumped into the tory cabinet taking their 10th holiday this year already there while depositing some inherited wealth and setting up trust funds for their children. Really it’s all as true as “we’re all in this together”!
Satellites are land in an economic sense – so we’re going to tax them;o)
🙂
Do not give this kind of ideas to that kind of people …
And now that Manchester is in charge of the budget for health and social care, perhaps some ‘out there” floating capsules full of seniors.
They are going to use all the services to help out, falls in the home, send for the fire service, I for one will maybe throw myself on the floor in order to have a nice chap in uniform visit, maybe put the kettle on. Start first with the postmen and women, because they are u early, they could call and get the porridge on the go and when they have completed their moving and handling course, problem solved.
Wonderful Mr Murphy. You are awful, but I like you.
Another good April’s Fool article – a clear explanation of why we should all vote Tory (assuming you are a sociopath, psychopath or just completely mad!)
http://anotherangryvoice.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/why-ive-decided-to-join-tory-party.html
I am reliably informed that the Space Tax Haven consortium now has a major competitor at the low-cost budget end of the tax avoidance market with the emergence of the Virtual Tax Haven conglomerate.
It turns out they are building a complete virtual world with several competing virtual tax havens all with their own virtual nation states, virtual lawyers, virtual currency, virtual banks, virtual accountants and even virtual politicians pre-programmed to approve all the new legislation required to set it up. And just to make it look all above board they’ve installed an “opposition party” who agree with all the same policies and a virtual media who publish whatever the corporation want them to.
And you can log onto it from your armchair so no need to send expensive astronauts up to space in order to squirrel your money away tax free. Apparently anyone can apply and the intention is to replace all nation states with this new Global Corporatocracy.
It’s the perfect corporate world, there’s not a real thinking person in sight and nobody to ask awkward questions or challenge their dominance!
Now I know why my sons like Warhammer: training to be virtual accountants, maybe
The ultimate rebellion
Quick question Keith. How will we tell the difference?
I’m afraid this particular Matrix will be very difficult to identify or defeat!
Anyone know somebody called Neo who can help us out?
It was the three neo’s of liberalism, conservatism and feudalism which got us in this mess in the first place.
Now, now Richard – be very careful!!
Do you realise that if this becomes a reality future generations could end up crediting the idea to you!!
I can see statues of you out side of PWC and KPMG offices on the Moon or Mars , venerating your vision and how you helped keep the rich rich.
Sorry!
The orbiting tax-haven satellite is still an April Fool (fortunately) but some libertarians are working on the floating city-state – scary stuff: See http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-05-30/for-libertarian-utopia-float-away-on-startup-nation
Howard
Are you saying I made this up?
I’m shocked! Shocked!
Richard
🙂
Of course any country or corporation with satellite launch capability could shoot such a satellite out of the sky rather easily. Perhaps North Korea will demand a substantial ransom from the owners to not shoot it down themselves. They are close enough to such a capability to make the threat at least credible. And of course the biggest countries only have to re-purpose an I.C.B.M. or two…