I discussed whether I should publish the articles that I have put out on autism, ADHD, AuDHD and related issues this morning with somebody who most definitely has the last of these conditions, and then went through a risk analysis with them based on my disclosure that I strongly suspect that I also have both such conditions.
Their immediate reaction was:
You know that your opponents will now use this to say that you don't understand what life is like for normal people because you think that you are not neurotypical, and they will use this to dismiss you?
We discussed this, and they made clear that there were three issues to highlight.
First, they said:
You need to point out that this is nonsense.
The reality of life for a person with any of these conditions is that they have to become an acute observer of what is regarded as “normal behaviour” and learn by observation what it is so that they can comply with it, which is the demand that neurotypical people make of those with ASD, ADHD and AuDHD.
In other words, the non-neurotypical person becomes more aware of what it is to be neurotypical than neurotypicals themselves know, precisely because they have spent so long studying it that you can imitate it to perfection, even though it is something tney will never be.
They then put this another way:
The life of the person with ASD, ADHD or AuDHD is, in fact, the equivalent of somebody who is almost perfectly bilingual, but who has been forced to spend their life speaking their second language. That's because of the demands of those for whom that is their first language who, firstly, refuse to recognise there is even a second language and, secondly, if they do then most definitely refuse to learn it.
I found these insights really helpful. This is what living with these conditions is like, expressed better than I could put it, because the person I consulted has spent far more time dealing with the consequences of their diagnosis, and the need for it, than I have ever dedicated to the subject.
They then made their third suggestion, which was this.
What you really need to do is highlight that these are not diagnoses as such. They are, more properly, discoveries.
After all, these conditions are not a sickness, but are instead descriptions of the difficulties people have fitting into a world that does not wish to accept the way non-neurotypical people are.
The reality is that life with these conditions can be great. There is absolutely no reason why not. In fact, those with them often bring what might be called superpowers with them, which can be liberating and enormously valuable to society.
For example, the reason why so many people with one or both of these conditions are so creative is that they have to develop deep insights because they have to observe the world acutely, and therefore understand its peculiarities, which they can highlight in their work as both participants and observers.
There is also a very good reason why so many comedians have one or more of these conditions, and that is that they can, in particular, see what is so funny about so much behaviour because, once again, they have to observe it so closely.
Again, I found these observations liberating and useful, and they helped inform my decision to publish.
They also pointed me to this article, literally published this week, which says:
A new international study reports that adults with ADHD who are aware of their personal strengths and use them regularly tend to experience higher well-being, better quality of life, and fewer mental health problems.
Scientists from the University of Bath, King's College London, and Radboud University Medical Center in the Netherlands conducted the first large-scale investigation designed to measure psychological strengths in adults with ADHD.
Their point was:
If those suggesting there is overdiagnosis of SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) understood this, they'd ask for more diagnoses: they are the way to solve many health problems and to increase success at school and productivity in society.
In my own case, I think my understanding, reached some decades ago, that I was an INTJ in Myers–Briggs terms, and more recently that I am a person most likely with AuDHD, has helped me appreciate:
- Why systems thinking is what I am most suited to.
- Why I am inclined to work on my own, and not in organisations or groups, most especially of any size.
- Why I am not inclined to be a politician.
- Why, much as I enjoy public events, I can only cope with doing them occasionally. I always need space after such events to recover, because that is what a deep introvert always does, even if they have learned to be profoundly socially proficient, as I think I have.
I share these observations in the hope that they might enlighten others as well.
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Richard,
Very brave of you
John
It had to be done.
Thank you Richard, this is immensely helpful.
Thanks
The description of how hard those with autistic minds have to work to navigate the world brought back to mind the phrase ‘An Anthropologist on Mars’, the title of an essay by Oliver Sacks in his book of that title. His subject was a woman called Temple Grandin, who is autistic and also a respected academic in the field of animal behaviour. The title was meant to sum up just what navigating the ‘normal’ world feels like to one who is neurodiverse.
But now – damn you! – I will have to go back and re-read that, and I’ll probably get sucked into some of the other essays, and I’m making very poor progress with my reading pile anyway which is *this* high (waving hand vaguely at shoulder height). Grrrr….
Sorry…
I am pleased you published this. I have no personal experience of any of the conditions you talk about; neither do I know anyone who has had a diagnosis for any of them and has disclosed that to me. My interest therefore is not so much in any diagnosis but in how using such information – alongside the ‘personality’ tests (such as the Myers Briggs) can assist us all to better understand and interact with each other. Hopefully leading to more positive and thoughtful ways of getting on while not trying to mask, hide or suppress differences.
I did the Myers Briggs many years ago in my early twenties. As yourself, I am an introvert – not a surprise to me then and less so now. The interpretation of the test results was conducted by an HR professional at the time and I found it interesting and went on to read the suggested book which allowed me to consider how to better interact with people who were differently placed on the axes of the test.
Being an introvert and being sociable are perfectly compatible – even at extremes of introversion as per myself. My understanding has always been that introversion means you seek your energy and motivation from inside yourself rather than taking it from interaction with others. This is not the same as being sociable – which is to enjoy the company of others and to both contribute to and take from the interactions.
However, as you well know. an introvert involved in significant socialisation (eg over a long time, and / or with many people) would probably feel more emotionally ‘wrung out’ and need time alone where a more extrovert person would feel more emotionally energised or ‘charged’ following such an experience.
As always, don’t publish this if it doesn’t suit or add anything. I guess I’m putting this out to both show support for what you are saying and also to agree that understanding differences and seeking to use these constructively is always worth while in my experience.
Thank you
Appreciated and much to agree with
I wish I could remember where I read this.
That evolution coded for neurodiversity, without it we wouldn’t be where we are today; in fact we might not even be here.
Us dullards couldn’t be bothered with studying the night sky night after night for years in such detail as to not only devise calendars, or predict the seasons, or eclipses, or the return of comets, or note long-term changes in weather patterns, or work out that the Earth was not only round, but how to actually measure it’s circumference.
Just as us dullards were quite happy to remain where we were, so why would we want to go off exploring what’s the other side of the ridge, let alone set sail, out to sea, on a RAFT!?
Aye, it takes all sorts to make a world…
Hello brother! I did the Meyers-Briggs test at Bible college thirty years ago, already a mature student in my early 40s. The only INTJ in the room of about forty students of varying ages and nationality. It gave me a better understanding of myself agreed, but job hunting in the following years was a nightmare. I limped along in low-paid work which exhausted me, so that I couldn’t work out an escape route to somethin g better for my gifts. At 60 eagerly grabbing retirement – in my view sadly not fulfilling potential I had. “I’m not dead yet” as they say so press on being as useful as I can find to those in my sphere.
Keep goiing! You are bound to have a valuable perspective
During my MBA we were subjected to a Myers-Briggs test and I refused point blank to take part. It’s the only thing I ever put my foot down on (well, that the Finance module which told me that most accounting was complete nonsense). So, I was supposed to reveal myself was I? No! I think not?
And to be honest I find such testing intrusive. Why does anyone want to know about me? Why do I even want to know about me or are supposed to care? It’s like having yourself pointed out to er….yourself with whom you live 24/7.
I’ve lied to testers and had fun doing so.
If I’m on the autistic syndrome somewhere then fair enough but I don’t really want to know much about it either or go around telling folk about it. It’s seems to me to be no one’s business thank you very much and another weapon they can beat you with.
I find tools for life such as the Johari Window more useful for contemplating my impact on other people but the truth of the matter is that we have very little control over how we are interpreted by others.
What I’ve learnt and told my kids is that out there there are some very weak, insecure, jealous, narcissistic, competitive, bullying and untrustworthy people willing to impose themselves on you just for being yourself and making you feel bad. And they will cross your path. So fuck them.
The greatest comfort I have got from theories of personality etc., is from situational leadership theories – being able to connect oneself to the moment for example? Which version of you might work, when.
Another tactic is to always seek feedback from others? From those you interact with? And strengths and weaknesses – well again, purely situational – there are times when weaknesses can be strengths etc. It’s all about collecting experience I suppose – we can only live life going forward but understand it only by reflection.
Again – this not to criticise this fascinating subject or those discussing these matters honestly here – but that is my genuine view for myself on this matter. At my time of life, I evaluate it by my contribution to others – not necessarily what is happening inside my head. Which is my business alone, BTW.
PSR
That is your choice. We’re all different. I find it massively useful.
There is no value in either position. They’re just choices.
Richard