This morning is the first at home for just over a week. That's because we were in Pembrokeshire last week. That means that the 42 posts that came out over eight were all published when I was on holiday. And it was a very good holiday too.
Most days involved a couple of good walks - although rain stopped play once or twice.
The sea was relatively warm, as was the world around us, although fully zipped up anoraks and even scarves seemed the order of the day for most people, when we rarely needed more than a T-shirt.
The birding was good. Waders always appeal to us, and the River Nevern's estuary was full of them.
On Friday afternoon, my slight panic at seeing what I thought was a body floating in the sea turned into delight when the two curious seals seemed to want to come as close as they could to get as good a look at us as we wanted of them.
I feel rested and recovered.
And a lot of writing was done. I have come back with more potential video scripts than I had. The quantum essays were thought up.
We talked a lot, read a lot, and observed the world. A fair amount of coffee was drunk. And whilst away we travelled a massive 7km by car: the rest was on foot. The destination in question was visited by car only because the Pembrokeshire coast path looked like a poor idea when there was a severe wind warning out.
That is our type of holiday. In this context, I was then intrigued, amused, and to some degree even baffled by this comment offered in good faith after suggestions about future content on this blog:
On a separate note, I would love to know that you're checking things off your bucket list, visiting countries you didn't have the time for while working etc. The world is getting more unstable, less tolerant and we never know when our ability to travel or see people goes away. I myself am doing this just in case I don't have as much time left as I want.
This provided us with much to discuss on the way home (a six-hour drive, and more with breaks). There are for two reasons.
First, long ago, we both agreed we had no ‘bucket list,' but did have what the late Sean Lock called a ‘fuckit list.' If a bucket list supposedly details those things you still want to do, then a fuckit list details those things you either do not want to do again, or never wish to do.
Regarding the bucket list, there are no countries outside the British Isles and Ireland that we now want to visit.
We have both travelled, both before and after we met. In my case, I have visited more than 25 countries, plus every county in the UK and Ireland. And frankly, if I never see an airport ever again, I will be delighted.
We agree that it is not travel that broadens our horizons, but that it is instead observing those places we go to in more detail and over the seasons that does that.
More than that, though, just as we love watching wildlife in detail and in repeated locations around where we live, knowing some other parts of the UK quite well lets us do the same there, and if you actually do this, you will know that no day is ever the same, and that is the pleasure in doing this.
So, our plan is, at most, to revisit places we already know in East Anglia, northern England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland. It's not a lack of ambition that drives this. It's the liberation in knowing this that is actually what makes it exciting: observing the changes we see is truly rewarding. And what we know is that if we never go anywhere new, those places will provide more than enough to entertain us, however long we live now.
As for new experiences, neither of us believes in the ghastly neoliberal marketing concept of ‘making memories'. Nor have we ever needed more than a book, a backpack, an iPad, a coffee shop, a pair of binoculars, maybe a camera, walking shoes and a cagoule (just in case) to have a good day out. We have no plan to change any of that. There is no experience that does not involve those things that we are very interested in. We are most definitely not driven by FOMO (the 'fear of missing out'). Instead, we often talk about JOMO ('the joy of missing out' on things we'd really rather not do). The list of things we have JOMO about is long.
And then there are material possessions. Many recently retired people seem to ‘splash the cash' in a quite extraordinary fashion. New cars, retirement homes, second homes, and extravagant consumption seem to be the order of the day. We discussed this at length on the way home and essentially failed to come up with anything we really needed, and that is not because we live to excess. We don't. It's just that material items aren't that important to us. The car has 122,000 miles on the clock, but it will be kept for as long as possible. And apart from some new frying pans, we struggled with finding much else to think of buying, except perhaps my desire to fill some gaps in my railway history library, which has been built up over more than 50 years, and my desire to finish a model railway, already overlong in the making. But it's not affectation to say we could think of nothing more. We take living fairly simply seriously. Again, for us, that is liberating, and maybe reflects the Quaker thinking we both share on this issue, where simplicity is a path willingly chosen.
Nor, when we moved on from those issues, is there much in the way of entertainment we are looking for. We were never big concert goers. I admit we used to eat out quite a lot. Now we enjoy cooking more, and we like knowing what we are eating, as well as knowing that the food on offer has not just been reheated in a microwave, which seems to happen far too often in many places these days. The cinema is an occasional visit. We watch National Theatre Live more often than we will ever go to the actual theatre, but I do admit that the odd steam railway is visited along the way. That said, the reality is, this is all fairly everyday stuff, although we appreciate being able to enjoy them all.
In other words, there is no bucket list. We can't find one, and we aren't worrying about it. We're fortunate enough to want what we have and can afford.
So what is on the fuckit list? Try these, as examples (there are many more):
- Cruises
- Golf
- International travel
- Fashion
- Tech for the sake of it
- Excess
So what do we do?
- We think.
- We read
- We (well, I) write.
- We talk, debate, observe, and then start all over again.
- And we walk, watch birds, have coffee, and do all the above whilst doing those things too.
You might call that mundane. Or repetitious. And even odd. And who knows, maybe it is. But we don't really care. That is what we do. And that's why Jacqueline really does not mind that, whilst we were on holiday last week, I also published 42 blogs, only a few of them written before we went.
So, do I need a bucket list? In short, no. But I did decide there were some things to add to my fuckit list. These include:
- Neoliberalism
- Fascism
- Corruption
- Injustice
- Inequality
- Faux democracy
I would like to be rid of them. Achieving that does then, in a truly (quantum) entangled way, become my bucket list. And I am happy with that. And that's why I write, even when on holiday. It's just what I do. I can't imagine doing anything else, so long as I am able.
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Ha ha, totally brilliant- thank you
Sounds like a life well lived, to me. Good luck with the list. I often think of Tennyson’s Ulysses as I reach my dotage:
Old age hath yet its honour and its toil.
It’s not too late to seek a newer world.
And with that, the old traveller, set off again for new adventures.
I like that
I do think J and I are on an adventure
At a time when the fallacies of capitalism are coming home to roost (that you can take so much from our planet without acknowledging it or the payback) , this post is absolutely spot on. And the payback will be deeply personal – not corporate.
The options are stark really: Join in or step out.
Well, I’m stepping out and can only console myself that I am not adding to certain problems.
But, as I said, that itself is liberating.
Liberating?
I’ve never seen a sense of duty as liberating. To me its essential. To me its the difference between living a conscious life, a life examined, versus an unconscious one living up to certain expectations that is just marketing.
Liberation? I’ll cogitate on that.
For several years on the trot back in the late 980’s/early 90’s I used to stay in a cabin at the foot of the cliffs just outside Plymouth.
Now once we had been a few times and got the hang of the place it was dead easy, do we want to go to……. Well we’ve done it before so no pressure to ‘do it’ We usually had a ‘big trip’ offsite midweek partly to top up our fresh food but that was it. Otherwise we had books and our cameras
No problem!
We have been going to the same place on Gower for 8 years. We haven’t explored half of the places we could, even in that small area, yet booked next year. A coast walk or Rhossili Bay is a mental cleanser. The only place abroad I’d like to revisit is Salzburg (mainly ice cream parlours), and Helsinki is tempting. I vowed after spending a month in the USA to never go again. I suspect RM is taking the fractal path to tourism.
I am.
Love this post – it is a Zone of Fabulousness. (refs below)
I’m getting a Fuckit List asap! and Fuk the Bucket List is first up, next is ‘Fascism birthed by Neoliberalism’. The Fuckit List is a brilliant act of resistance, love it.
(Always struck me that a bucket list was just another consumerism ploy, FOMO of cruises and other mindless, me me me, capitalist distractions).
BTW ‘visiting countries’ …..! As you note above there are 3 countries and 1 principality plus a melting pot of cultures to visit and experience across these islands we share. (I reflect people who live abroad say what they miss about living here, is our humour. Perhaps what they mean is they miss the craic – a word which in itself tells the story and meaning of these islands).
I could add ‘Ignoring the Good’ could be added on the Fuckit List, the constant bad news stories is what fascism feeds off. Wearing our souls to dust.
There are many good news stories, like this post, and positive acts of resistance in the public sector, teams doing fantastic work, doing it against the odds that the far-right corporate media don’t want you to hear about.
RM it was really heartening to hear about your lovely holiday, and what a fantastic rule for life.
‘We’re fortunate enough to want what we have and can afford.’
🙂 🙂
Refs.
As RM notes we are living in an age of aggression, they want us to internalise hopelessness and it’s big brother cynicism. Resist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnTDUCkYby0
https://vikkireynolds.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/zof_digital.pdf
Thanks
Liberation comes in odd forms. I gave up smoking in 2012 because I suddenly realised my addiction was a form of imprisonment. And I’m so glad I did. I no longer have to calculate where I can go for my next fix, but can concentrate on what I’m doing. Health improvement is a bonus, not a reason.
Much to agree with. I have done the same with alcohol. From a glass of wine daily I now hardly ever drink – and simply don’t miss it. Actually, I gave more energy.
Its said that Alexander the Great wept when he had no more worlds left to conquer.
By comparison having been there seen that done it I feel content no great urge to go there, do that
Like you I do need to finish the model railway and perhaps borrow middle sons radio controlled tug for a trip to the pond at Shepton Mallett but thats about it
🙂
There will be books to read
Models to make
But this is about treading lightly on the world
I was a girl and not allowed a model railway – big sulk – but sport and music sufficed – once ‘grown up’ 6 weeks skiing in winter and a few weeks in summer in the Alps were acceptable. (@John Griffin – I once managed a couple of days working in Salzburg but have never liked ice cream). My first time up ‘our’ local hill (Kinder Scout) was with John Hunt when he was just back from |Everest in 1953 – I was 8 years old. I do remember the 1st time I visited the Taj Mahal, an organised tour, and one man was a total ‘bucket list’ telling us he had only come on the tour to tell people in his local pub that he’d seen the Taj – that hurt because my Grandfather had toured India in the late 1890s and said it was a ‘must’ – I visited it several times. As a youngster, when not in school, I travelled a lot to be with my parents, so got the bug of travelling (especially for music and a bit for work) and just done a quick count = around 50 countries – I had get from Nairobi to Mombasa to get my A level results, why? I never understood, but I did pass all – we had come a difficult route, via Egypt, Sudan, Rhodesia & Nyasaland, and then went onto Uganda – oh dear Mau Mau. Now advised not to fly following serious illness and I feel no need to, other than my visits in UK to friends, and of course to Aldeburgh and Snape for music. I live in such a beautiful area (Peak District) – flora and fauna are plentiful, but I no longer use a camera – I found that in Africa that I was hiding behind the camera and not watching a wider area – the sky and the land can be vast – I remember my Father teaching me (through a telescope) just south of the Equator, the southern hemisphere stars. Lots of incredible (and scary) experiences, but my final big tour was Bali for Christmas and Sydney for New Year – now I actually have no wish to be in or near an airport. My car is 11 years old and has done around 37000 miles. I have no bucket list – no need.
I agree with your comment on the risk of photography
I took a lot of Jacqueline last week – and otherwise few others. Sometimes you just have to look.
I am pleased/relieved that in the days that my cousin’s boyfriend was taken by a crocodile, no one was there to record it – imagine the ‘excitement’ on line/social media of that – my cousin was in one canoe on the Zambesi – her boy friend in another – a hippo turned his canoe over – no – they were not there on holiday, my Aunt and Uncle were working there – another of my cousins was killed there by an (until then) unexploded Matabele bomb – those children, her son, and other children, were in my Aunt’s care and had ‘made’ a bonfire – I had an extraordinary, and not always pleasant childhood from that ideal?/?experience – I was convinced that my Mother too had been taken by crocodiles when I heard no news several weeks into school term – yet these ‘young influencers’ would possibly welcome that photo of my family being attacked by crocodiles — I have been fortunate in these extensive (many of them unchosen) travels – Malta in the 1950s, Africa in the 1950s through to 1960s and beyond – and various into the next few years – it just ‘annoys’ me when people speak of their travels when I was there in such early days and mostly not willingly – it was not all ‘influencers’ , not all ‘jolly’ – there were horrific times of war, riots, famine, – I remember too well Apartheid in South Afrika, the problems in Sudan, Uganda, Tanganyika, Egypt et al – being on the Portuguese East Africa border with steel shutters over the windows in case of ‘?’. I remember being in Nepal and being held against a wall by 2 soldiers with rifles because I had strayed away from the crowd – I remember being held for several hours trying to get into China (legally) – I remember too well being in several war zone areas let alone living and working in Paris toward the end of ‘les-événements’ – perhaps these young ‘influencers’ should see the the other side of the coin – the side of the coin that many of my age have experienced – but we have not made £££ from these experiences – we are just thankful to have survived and hopefully to have learned and gained from these ‘experiences’. –
I have just finished reading “Inheritance” by Alona Andrews a very good read and the story is still reverberating in my brain. I may reread it tomorrow, I always get more out of it the second time.
Most excellent.
There is a golf course near us (old race course – could have been turned into a nature reserve – filth lucre etc), when young people visit (ages 5 ro 10) I explain that the people they see playing are from an establishment for the mentally infirm.
Like golf, I have often wondered about the point of cruises. They seem to be a deeply unpleasant marketing gimmic.
WRT the last list, last night @ a dinner my old climbing companion’s brother who has 4 children & lives in France said (in response to my “what the hell is happening to the world”) – I don’t know what to tell my children. He grew up in the 1980s and 1990s – the world seems very very different now.
🙂
I read an article in, I think, Cumbia magazine? about 50 years ago which as you can see, stayed with me. The writer recounted a conversation with an elderly hill farmer from Shap. It turned out he’d never traveled beyond the Haweswater area, the rest of the Lake District was relatively unknown to him. The writer mused on what a restricted life the farmer had led, then thought again. He hadn’t traveled far but he knew every dip and fold in the local hills in a way that a visitor like him (the writer) couldn’t begin to emulate. He went on to speculate about the relative merits of visiting many places briefly and knowing one place intimately. He concluded that the latter was preferable as it required much more effort and the pleasure derived was much more lasting due to the special knowledge the intimacy brings.
I am much inclined to think intimacy the better choice.
Another couple of travel nuggets, the first from folk singer Mike Harding, ‘Travel broadens the mind as long as it’s not mindless travel’. Another from the travel writer Bill Bryson, who commented on American tourists who were looking for a ‘cultural experience’ but seemed to want food, services and accommodation to be just like back home and complained bitterly when they weren’t.
Agreed
Exactly the sentiment we were discussing after a trip to Maastricht, all by public transport, from Scotland. We mostly holiday locally but it’s good to explore occasionally – without flying though! Made us appreciate the peacefulness of home compared to such a densely populated area. It’s also good to remind ourselves of what countries look like with proper investment in infrastructure, the arts etc
Much to agree with
I think that if one has travelled enough to understand that we all live, laugh, love, cry and bleed the same then that is sufficient.
Agreed
JOMO, I like it. Hadn’t heard that before
Hooray for folk who live how they like (as long as no harm done) and don’t care what others think or say. Good for you. For some reason economics is an unfathomable mystery to me, but I’m learning a lot from you. Thank you.