I told myself I would post the video this morning and then nothing else, and that I might take a quiet day, during which I might venture out for the first time since Monday. But then I saw this in the FT in an article on retirement homes:
According to the US Census Bureau, Americans aged 65 and over will constitute one in five of the population (20 per cent) by 2030. The UK's Parliament predicts that this same demographic will increase to 27 per cent there by 2072. The same is true of the European Union (32.5 per cent by 2100), according to the European Commission, and in China 28 per cent of the population will be over 60 years old, according to the World Health Organization.
The rest of the article can be safely ignored: it is the typical weekend fare about how the very wealthy can be parted from their money. Instead, note the assumption. Once over 65, you are in the retirement home market.
I get the fact that the article suggests that there is a problem with a quarter of the elderly living alone, and with as many as fifty per cent reporting loneliness as a major feature of their life, with more than seven per cent reporting that as a chronic problem. But, I would suggest that these problems are at least as significant for the young. They do not only cause problems for the elderly. They are a feature of all of life that is now lived remotely, online, and too often in fear of what contact with others might provoke.
Is the answer to that incredibly expensive retirement apartments, built in so-called retirement villages of the sort used by Richard Osman as the setting for his Thursday Murder Club series? Maybe it is, but if so, isn't living space based on the need for community the answer to the problems of all in society? And why should access be limited to those with wealth?
In a world where so many very basic needs are not met, isn't the need for safe spaces to meet and talk high on the list of priorities?
For me, the absence of such spaces that do not require the consumption of significant quantities of alcohol over an evening (which is not my thing, although I am open to the odd pint) is a major issue. Why is it, for example, that every coffee shop is shut in the evening? Is there really no evening market for them?
I have no obvious answers here, but it is on my list of concerns, and for people of all ages, because anyone who has ever dealt with students knows just how big a problem loneliness is for them now, and all young people. A government that is not aware of this is not worth having.
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Might the writings of Lewis Mumford help us?
Below are a couple of quotations of his, of which the first is slightly modified:
“Only when kindness takes the lead will the earth, and life on it, be safe. And not till then.”
“The way people in democracies think of government as something different from themselves is a real handicap. And, of course, the government sometimes confirms their opinion.”
I have lived by myself since I left Cambourn School of Mines and started work as a mining engineer in Zambia and in Ireland at Galmoy Mines. I do come consultancy but my favorite pass time is reading, I have over 20,000 books mainly science fiction and fantasy with a a relatively small number of none fiction. I think I have read may be 75% of my books, some more than once.
I must get back to the book I am reading, it is burning a hole in my mind.
That is another problem with the article I noted. It assumed living alone was about loneliness. It need not, and I have done it, and not by choice.
Sheltered housing schemes do offer safe, secure homes for the over 55s within a building complex of compact individual flats. Such schemes generally have certain shared areas in addition to a full set of facilities within each independent flat: a communal lounge and kitchen, laundry, sometimes a library and often a guest room for family to come and stay. There is even an option to use the guest room at other locations within the same sheltered housing company for a nominal fee, opening up holiday getaway possibilities. An onsite manager is there to ensure the building is maintained and questions are answered, plus there are pull cords in each flat for the safety of the most vulnerable tenants. This option offers both independence and the possibility of community company, all within the same building.
I attended an Innovate UK sponsored event called ‘Aging in the City’ some years ago, where we shared ideas on elderly care in the community. One of the participants at my table was a former manager from Anchor Trust, and she suggested creating a living arrangement similar to student Halls. This would be like a modern shared flat, but specifically designed for the elderly. Although I thought this would suit the needs of a number of people in our aging population, it should not charge the rip-off rents currently paid by our students. Halls are a great place to meet up with other students; an especially good choice for young people leaving home for the first time. Why not build this type of accommodation for people who are not students and not just the elderly? However, the prices charged for Halls accommodation are way too high; just one more way we penalize our young people leaving them to wallow in debt after leaving university!
Although I am officially r… I still have a hard time with the ‘R’ word! In reality it can free up time to work on important projects which for me includes innovation. Although she is no longer with me, I felt very privileged to be able to care for my mother for several years after her dementia diagnosis. This enriching experience exposed the huge requirement for all manner of items to be specifically designed for the ‘Silver Sector’. This includes everything from furniture and kitchen appliances to specialized equipment and clothing. We groan as we talk about ‘The Burden of Care’, but in reality there exists a ‘Bonanza of Opportunity’ for designers and entrepreneurs to meet the needs of this rapidly growing demographic. Meeting this need is the focus of the majority of my design ideas, but I still lack certain critical skills and business connections so I am seeking collaborators.
I know Richard is not a big fan of the Royal Society of Medicine, where I am a member and was once on a Technology in Medicine Committee that is now sadly disbanded. The new President of the RSM, Professor Gillian Leng CBE, has shown a genuine interest in innovation and I am trying to persuade her that we should host a Design Hackathon to target designing ‘kit’ for the Silver Sector. This would draw in students from IMechE, Imperial and elsewhere beyond the RSM, including carers, to focus on designs to help keep elderly people living safely and with dignity, independently in their own homes, of whatever configuration. This would facilitate the work of carers, both familial and profesional, thereby reducing the current burden on the NHS. Residential care is costly and should only become the preferred option when absolutely necessary; independence doesn’t necessarily require isolation.
Good luck.
Keep the passion.
Are you including in that means to cut your own toenails and to get your socks on? Oh and how to remove ‘leisure trousers’ that have a tight cuff around the ankle?
Thank you for your input; it takes comments just like this for designers and entrepreneurs to rethink the many items they want to bring to market. In reality, it will require paying serious attention to all these seemingly minor considerations to overcome the obstacles to maintaining independence as we age. I have even considered hosting a ‘Gripe-a-thon’ to encourage our elderly and disabled cohort to open up on what doesn’t work for them, so that we can engineer solutions.
You are never alone. Unfortunately that jut means your Air Fryer, or your watch is listening to anything you say. The Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO Watchdog) has given new guidelines to suppliers. That will terrify the Chines manufacturers. The problem here is that products now have to acquire consumer agreement because of privacy rules. This is pointless (a chocolate teapot); the product will not work without agreement, so the consumer agrees – with no idea exactly what infromation is being collected, who uses it, or what for. The problem is, most consumers do not realise how serious an invasion of privacy this has become.
I have raised this constantly, ever since Shoshanna Zuboff published ‘The Age of Surveillance Capitalism’ (2019). The government has to take charge here, and close off this altogether. Only limited functional data should be automatically collected. Everything else should require the explicit and specific agreement of the consumer, item by item, by request, line by line. This is outrageous, and it is only too typical of modern capitalism – making money bey stealth. It has to stop. This is another major failure of the Labour government, and the disgusting Conservatives before them; which did not give a damn about consumers.
Thanks, John.
Yes, being alone and being lonely are two very different — and not necessarily connected — things. Connectedness is what we should be addressing here, a bit like marxian economists contemplating ‘alienation’.
A person is likely to feel lonely when busily and friendlily interacting with people with whom he feels no connection, no association, no alliance.
As someone who enjoys solitude, I often don’t need heavy social interaction to be reminded of shared values, identities, aspirations and hopes. That awareness is either there or it is not.
The supposed surge in loneliness we’re all going to be at risk of, is, like so many other things, derived from our economic situations. At its heart neoliberalism has to maximise a person’s vulnerability to loneliness, or it isn’t doing its job properly.
I think your last insight is very telling.
Spending was largely a social phenomenon; until the digital age. It desocialises spending; at least for the buyer. Neoliberalism can’t help itself, it is a destructive phenomenon, and its singular pursuit of the (unobtainable) dream of the costless profit, it is destroying what it is trying to sell. So much advertising now is framed as comedy; the content and real experience of what is sold is so empty, the aspiration so phoney, so easily discovered, all that is now left to sell it – is a joke. We know we are living in a crackpot world when the best adverts are memorable most of all, because we can’t even recall what on earth they were selling.
I have said this before but……
There is a lot of talk about spending on the Arts, and Sport but what about all the other social and cultural activities that can provide joy and meaning to life?
Clearly if there was also funding and support for in particular premises where groups could meet, setting up things like Mens & Womens sheds etc etc there would be potentially all manner of benefits that spring from them.
I would also add bring back adult education.
Much to agree with
I agree with Ronal M about being alone and/or loneliness are not necessarily connected. I have lived alone since the late 1980s but have never felt lonely. In the past I skied and walked various mountains – yes, sometimes in busy areas, but I was never lonely on a mountain top with only my Guide for company, having either climbed the mountain or having been dropped by helicopter: there was never need for conversation. I cherished that feeling of solitude and of quiet – as one Guide said to me ‘wilde natur’ and it was peace and solitude, but not loneliness. I no longer watch TV. I listen to the radio. I listen to music CDs and I read (books and newspapers) plus of course this blog. I attend live theatre regularly, and I am fortunate in that where I live we have Buxton Opera House (a proud Matcham theatre opened 1903 with 902 seats) and the Pavilion Arts Centre with a smaller 360 seat theatre – these are both ‘receiving’ theatres and so we enjoy a huge variety of entertainment – and of course is the home of the Buxton Festival (Opera, music and literature) and now again the home of the Gilbert and Sullivan Festival. The theatres also put on ‘in house’ productions to, frequently using local talent and engaging young people. I go alone but never feel lonely. On 1st June 2023 we had an official 120th birthday party for the theatre, including singing ‘happy birthday’! These are pastimes are not for everyone and I am thankful that not everyone enjoys the same pastimes. In Buxton there are seats in the parks and gardens with notices to say that if you see someone sitting alone, ask them if they would like company. On my regular walks I always say ‘hello’ and smile, and this sometimes extends to someone asking if they may walk with me – I never refuse. I think that the speed of life especially for working age people can lead to isolation. Equally this constant texting excludes ‘face en face’ friendship especially with younger people – does this encourage loneliness?. I have no mobile phone signal where I live but I make an effort to keep in touch with friends. Three years ago I was in Bali for Christmas and in the hotel was a group of British, 4 families with their children together for a holiday – I was shocked that the children (teenagers) sat at a large table with their mobile phones, texting but making no conversation amongst themselves: has the art of conversation been lost? Their parents did not intervene. I realise that there are those who do not listen, and this can be attributed to arrogance, defensiveness or just unwillingness to make an effort. There are now ‘warm hubs’ where people may go to be warm for an hour or so, but I believe that some go for company. I agree that there is a common misconception that loneliness only affects older people – it can affect any age and indeed there are many different types of loneliness, such as emotional or social. It is only natural to feel lonely following bereavement. I am fortunate that I can live alone without feeling lonely. I have just been to (live theatre) ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ (for age 3 to 7 = I am in my second childhood) and it was wonderful to see the small children in the audience slowly unwind – the moral of the story is that Rumpelstiltskin “celebrates friendship, reminds us to be kind and truthful, and asks us to accept everybody no matter what they may look or sound like”.
Thanks, Susan.
I know loneliness is a problem fur many. Maybe introverts (I am decidedly one) manage it better. But I agree with you, the mobile phone has emphatically not helped. And why do we need to book phone calls now?
Because “connectedness” amongst regular people is anathema to neoliberalism. Telephone calls are just too spontaneous and – therefor – dangerous to the powers that be (corporate and social). Never mind, we’ve got a ‘script’ for our (telephone) advisors to follow, so are clear realise we are not on ‘your side’ – in fact (as good neoliberals) we think you are selfish, sneaky and ONLY motivated by pecuniary gain (just like us, or rather our corporate uber-mensch)
Similarly, class consciousness, empathy and trade union membership are to be discouraged. Why, if only section 12 of the Terrorism Act, 2000 allowed it (without proscribing trade unions and working men’s clubs), we’d outlaw it tomorrow – for the Many are strong when they’re allowed to talk freely and share ideas = when up against the Few.
They dislike telephones being used on OUR terms. Don’t we know, they’re primarily tracking devices?
I am not sure how this follows from my comment….which was targeted at social calls, in the main.
in the Guardian (today 17 Dec.) opinion section – “If you’ve got children, you need to watch Swiped – and see how sick their phones are making them” – (Simon Jenkins)
People – hard to live with and hard to live without. One of life’s many tough challenges
🙂
In better funded times local authorities used to have a befriending service for people (retired or house restricted) who needed that service. I think it’s now pared down to volunteers doing it. It was successful up to a point – that point being there were some people who didn’t want a friend but rather an obedient audience whilst they held forth on whatever it was that was important to them. You can understand this when people can’t get out much – however it does illustrate that friendship, taking part or getting involved something is a two way process. You’ve got make some effort and make yourself, as far as it goes, someone worth getting to know.It is also worrying for the future now that the workplace regards employees as units on a spreadsheet rather people – years ago if you ran kids football team, or something similar, firms would give you support and maybe even a bit of sponsorship- and the local publicity would do them a bit of good as well. Nowadays, although employers like to see that kind of thing on your CV – they’re less likely to want it to interfere with their work schedules.
When I was a sixth former I did an afternoon a week working for a couple who were probabbly about 80. In the summer I cut their grass and (sort-of) tidied the garden. In the winter I just had longer to have tea with them – and to listen to their stories. Maybe just learning to listen was really important. But the stories were too. I wonder if soemone, now just about born, might do that for me one day?
Time for everybody in their 50s ,and maybe for younger ones too , to be looking seriously at Co-Housing.
These project have been all too slowly gaining interest, and you can find examples if you search co-housing or contact the Cohousing Association. Setting up a project requires work and group commitment , but living in an inter-generational and self-determining community is a sort of blueprint for ‘ letting kindness take the lead ‘ (pace Mumford ).
I only wish I had done this in my 50s…
This is such an attractive flexible solution for loneliness. No cookie cytter packages, people make the communities they dream of.
Look here for a start
UK cohousing Network https://cohousing.org.uk/
and Cohousing Scotland https://cohousing.scot/
and a wealth of videos on YouTube.
Happy forming groups and planning creative living spaces.
Thanks
Just what I was about to say…
May I say that I can think of nothing worse (for me) than Co-housing. I like solitude. I like to choose when and with whom I socialise. I would rather be alone (which does not mean lonely) than have to endure the unwanted company of other people.
I understand that some people suffer dreadfully when thay are alone or when they are lonely, but please remember that everyone is different and their needs are different. Please don’t try to find universal solutions for non-universal issues.
I confess I think I, too, would hate co-housing. Extroverts rarely understand that introverts really do need time alone to survive. Introverts have to learn to live in an extrovert world, not vice versa.
My late father bought a flat in a development that had a number of impressive shared spaces. He was able to get to the bistro, for example, without stepping outside but still had his own ‘front door’. The whole place had a lovely atmosphere where many enjoyed impromptu gatherings as well as organised events. I had been unable to persuade any one to get involved with a mobility scooter grand prix. The in-house chiropodist was very popular as are the hot meals delivered to the door (for a fee of course). The big problem, apart shortage of properties, is that the service charge started at about £750 per month, you can guess the cost of buying a place.
My sister-in-law lives alone in a sheltered housing scheme in which the modern flats are owner occupied but the walls,roofs and gardens are owned by the company and maintained from an annual charge on residents. Forgetting the actual structure of ownership,costs,and responsibilities, every time we visit I exclaim how attractive the flats are,how well designed,how convenient for single people or couples. All over 60 years ,starting residency typically,as very active retired people,but progressing with age to more supportive arrangements elsewhere.
My wife and I may wish to downsize from our family- sized three- bed semi to something cheaper and smaller freeing up our family- sized house for…..well……. an actual family. Yet there is a complete lack of availability of the sort of place my sister-in-law enjoys. And nearly all planning applications by builders and developers involve mostly these 3 or 4-bed “executive style” homes with just a scattering of smaller “affordable” places. Yet the country is surely in need of lots of smaller flats and houses more suitable for the increasing percentage of singletons and couples who will not be having any more children any time soon. If the law of supply and demand actually applied,developers would be rushing to build apartment blocks for the over- sixties. A rising cohort. Yet some other economic law must be involved as they insist on building family- sized homes,regardless of whether the eventual residents would meet that description.Suggesting that government should step in to direct decision-making in this field. I won’t hold my breath.
Local authorities also built mainly family sized homes, hence the Bedroom Tax. Those unfortunates who were left living in too large a property once family had grown up had no available single bedroom council or affordable rent accommodation.
” Suggesting that government should step in to direct decision-making in this field. I won’t hold my breath. Suggesting that government should step in to direct decision-making in this field. I won’t hold my breath. “
Maybe you are being too hard on the current Government. Sir Keir of the BlackRock is (as every PM since John Major) an admirer and ardent follower of Mrs. T – and she (uncharacteristically) briefly provided leaseholder flat owners with an opportunity to collectively buy and own their leaseholders.
My five neighbours and I took advantage of it and today exert democratic control over our leases. We’ve probably saved tens of thousands of pounds thanks to Mrs T (you’ve no idea how difficult it is for me to write those words). Even Sir Keir of the B’Rock might be a brave-enough Thatcherite to follow her example in the twenty first century for owner-occupied and sheltered homes? RTM (right to manage) schemes are an atrocious n*wlabor replacement of Thatcher’s gift, which Starmer would need to improve (not ‘reform’ that word terrifies me when uttered by centrists) to affect strong improvement here. How it might work better brains than mine could suggest.
there are empty ‘unsold’ modern retirement flats where I live, built recently and put on sale in ‘phases’ – the developers have now come up with a scheme of shared ownership but many are still unsold. The developers also offer the option of rental. I have not investigated in depth, but I am told that the service charge is very high, and unfortunately unaffordable for many who may wish to live in such a complex. The service charge does not cover any personal care or requirements which must be paid for separately.
I’ve been sick with ME/CFS since 1992. I’m not sure when I got Internet access, but I remember watching the Twin Towers attack live on a laptop computer in our caravan back in 2001 (and I started a Blog in 2005). So I’m pretty sure I had access at home before 2001 since it took forever to get a line in at the caravan as it had to have permission from the person who owned the field it had to cross and it took a very long time for his name to be found!
Even early on I started to find Internet friends. I became a Moderator on an email List for people with ME/CFS. I “met” people on the Internet who became close friends.
Now that I’m more or less bed bound I still have friends who I will never see – the power of the Internet! Twitter was a great invention until that creep took it over. But I still use it as I have friends there.
I’ve been very lucky to be able to have had the Internet for so long. It’s been a blessing in that my online friendships are the nearest friends I can communicate with regularly. I’m “vulnerable” due to my condition and also my age so we can’t invite friends and neighbours into our house. My Internet friends are my lifeline.
I’m not exactly sure what point I’m trying to make! Perhaps that friendship comes in many forms.
That’s a pretty good point to make.
Thanks.
This is an interesting area.
The housing provider I work for has reined in its sheltered accommodation, got rid of its wardens and expects people of a certain age to use the internet and wonders why it is often the elderly visiting its offices in person to talk about their rent accounts and other problems.
There was also an article some years ago (as a contrast) of STDs going up in the over 50’s – I kid you not? Lonely? Maybe?
The commercial units on our only extra care scheme have never been let – they were supposed to provide onsite facilities like a coffee shop, hairdresser but no one wants to take a lease out. Yet life on the scheme can be said to be rather ‘robust’ with a lively use of the outside communal area for parties and get togethers. There are also – between households – things going on, affairs, divorces, moving in, moving out, new relationships forming – the scheme is a real kitchen sink drama. How do we know? Because we manage the tenancies and charging criteria of course and get sucked in of course when acrimony comes into play. And as always, there is death to deal with as well.
Underlying all of this of course is a lack of money to support it all. Every year so much wisdom walks out of the workforce and does what exactly?
What I find irritating is what has already been alluded to here already – that by getting old you have crossed an invisible line whereby you are marketable commodity for a set menu of needs all after your money because the stuff being sold gives you such choice apparently to live so ‘independently’.
‘Independence’ for a species that has survived by being inter-dependent with each other for thousands of years is just plain wrong. A recognition of inter-dependence would change the nature of our services – ‘independence’ has become a flag of convenience to reduce and not build up, to reduce investment and human contact or at least charge you dearly for it.