Dear Dom

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I have said that I do not think Johnson will make it through this parliamentary term.

I suspect that this is his email to Cummings this morning:

Dear Dom

Thought I should mention a few things.

First, hope your Ma and Pa are ok. Send regards. I might need a bolt hole, soon.

Second, about your recent sick leave. Really? So ill you could drive to Durham? And then be spotted? What have I told you about getting out of wardrobes early?

Third, about policy. Do we have any? Getting a bit worried about that. Can’t hide from the press forever.

Fourth, no Mary doing some ‘thoughts for the day’ on Radio 4 does not qualify her to be a godparent to the new one.

Fifth, when is this all over? You don’t tell me it would be this shit. Why not?

Sixth, shall we quit? I’ve had enough.

Seventh, don’t think you can go without me.

Eighth, my memoirs will sell more than yours so don’t even think about telling all.

Ninth, if I go don’t even think about trying to hang on here.

Tenth, just get out now. And close the door after me. We don’t want the rest joining us. They can carry the can.

Yours

Your ever dependent

BoJo

But he, notoriously, writes two drafts.